


It was love

by Signy_noor



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: All the way to London, And running away from his feelings, Childshood friends, Even is hopelessly in love with Isak as always, Isak is married to Mikael, M/M, Second Chance at Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:08:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21907252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Signy_noor/pseuds/Signy_noor
Summary: “What am I, Even?”“You’re my best friend”“Friends don’t kiss, Evi”“Well, maybe I want you in a different way too”
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen, Mikael Øverlie Boukhal/Isak Valtersen
Comments: 53
Kudos: 203





	1. We would pass notes in science. I would end them with a heart.

**Author's Note:**

> I had hoped this could be some kind of christmas/advent calender. But now it's the 22nd of december at I just finished it. Soooo... Instead I'm going to post it over the next few days. I hope you like it. It's a cute story about lost love and second chances. Please let me know what you think, if you feel like it <3  
> Happy christmas, winter solstice or just happy sunday, whoever you are.

_Isak 24 and a half, Even 25_

The snowflakes are falling gently from the sky and coat the streets in a sound-dampening layer that makes the city go completely silent. Even is leaving deep footsteps in the snow on the pavement. It is snowing so much that the other footprints, beside his own, are already half filled with snow. 

He loves when the city goes quiet like this and the only sound he can hear is the cracking of the snow, compressing under his feet. He put on his large snow boots tonight. The ones that any sensible Norwegian would own a pair of. 

Well, _most_ sensible Norwegians. Isak has never bothered to get a proper pair of boots. He is so vain, when it comes to shoes. It is quite hilarious. He is a total slob, always has been, when it comes to almost everything except his shoes. Always sneaks, and his caps, which he also wears in winter, when the snow is thick and the wind is howling. 

Even sometimes rips that damn cap of his head and pulls the spare beanie, he always carries around, over his head. Isak loudly protests, but still lets Even pull it over his burning red ears, every time. The beanies accumulate in Isak’s apartment, but always find their way back to Even’s place, before he runs out. 

Even rounds a familiar corner and kicks most of the snow off his boots, before he pushes the buzzer for Øverlie-Valtersen. Mikael’s voice greets him with a scratty “Yo”, before the door is opened, just like always. Even takes the steps two at a time, trying to get some warmth into his legs again. When he reaches the second floor, he is slightly out of breath, but has managed to get his muscles to produce a bit of heat, to warm him up.

The door is already open, left slightly ajar, as usual. Even can let himself in. He knocks three times and enters with a “halla!” shutting the door behind him. He puts his wet boots on an old newspaper lying on the floor, to not soak the floor, and hangs his thick parka, scarf and beanie.

“Hey old man.”, Mikael says from the doorway to the living room, where he is leaning against the wall. He has a kind smile on his face. 

“Jeez, relax, you’re turning 25 too in what? Three weeks? You’re just as old as I am. Actually even more grown up, you’ve been married for how long, again?”

Mikael smiles at him and raises his hands in surrender, turning his back to Even and leads him into the living room.

“You have a point, you’re definitely the youngest of the two of us. The amount of shots you drank that night was very ‘ _just turned 18 and allowed to buy my own shots_ ’”

That makes Even both laugh and cringe at the thought of himself that night, a few weeks ago. He had been so pissing drunk. He was so fucking exhausted, from having to pretend like he was totally okay with turning 25 and being so, sooo single, when all his friends were either married or in a relationship. 

Isak had seemed to pick up on his misery as usual, and drank shots with him all night, like there was no tomorrow. “To misery!”, he had toasted each time and Even managed to slur out a; “wha’ the hell do YOU have to be mis’rable ‘bou?”, which Isak just answered with a drunk eye roll and ordered a tray of tequila shots for them.

Mikael makes his way to the couch and drops down onto the cushions, unceremoniously.

“We don’t have any tequila, but there is water and sodas in the fridge, if you want. You know your way around.”

“Thanks, I don’t think I will be having tequila for the rest of my life, after Isak forced half a bottle down my throat last time. Speaking of my drinking buddy, where is your hubby? I thought he was joining us tonight.”

Mikael smiles gently at him. Looking out the window.

“He’s getting sushi, he’ll be here in a little while.”

Even follows his line of sight. The snow is still plummeting down from the sky.

“You should have just told me to go get it. It’s on the way over here anyway. No reason to send him out into the cold. It’s freezing outside.”

“It’s sweet you’re concerned for him. But I think he can handle a little snow and wind. You got here safely didn’t you?”

“Sure… but I wore proper clothes for it...”

Mikael tilts his head and looks at Even with a knowing smile, which makes Even avert his eyes. He looks around the living room instead. It’s has a little bit of an empty feel too it, compared to what it is usually like. A lot of things are missing from the shelves, books and pictures. Through the open door to the guest room, he can see a lot of moving boxes stacked up against the wall.

“What’s with the boxes? Are you guys moving?”

Even looks at Mikael with a frown on his face.

“Isak found a pretty awesome apartment in Grünerløkka, so...yeah. Just wait ‘til Isak gets here and we will tell you.”

_\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_ _\----------------------_

_Isak 16, Even 16 and a half_

A small paper ball landed on the table in front of Even. He frowned and turned in his seat.

Isak was sitting right behind him, raising his eyebrows at him and nodded at the small piece of paper. Even still frowned and mouthed “what?” at Isak, who just rolled his eyes at him. 

“Even, could you please pay attention! You won’t learn anything about meiosis from Isak.”

Their teacher was standing right in front of him, and he considered revealing that the most realistic way he would actually learn anything from this class, was from begging Isak to explain, what the hell it all was about to him after class. Biology was seriously boring and useless and he could not understand why Isak, or anybody for that matter found it interesting. Even bit his tongue and looked at her, with the most sincere expression he could muster. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll pay attention now.”

The teacher turned on her heel and went up to the front of the class again, to continue explaining meio-whatever she was talking about. Just as she reached the front, another paper ball landed in front of Even.

He rolled his eyes and threw a quick glance over his shoulder to find a determined looking Isak, sitting with his arms crossed, giving Even a firm stare. He let out a sigh of surrender and cast a quick glance towards the teacher, before he unwinded the little paper ball. 

It said: _Read my damn message, you goodie two-shoes!_

He looked over his shoulder and mouthed, “really??” at Isak, who just looked amused.

Even turned back and unfolded the first message Isak had sent him.

_Is it just me or can you totally see her nipples through her shirt?_

He had to hold a hand over his mouth to stop the snort, he was about to let out.

He looked up to see the teacher deeply engaged in discussion with some girl on the first row, Sana, her name was. She would always, at some point start up a discussion about the lesson’s topic and throw the teacher off her game. He smiled to himself. He kind of liked her, even though she was scary as hell and kept mostly to herself.

Even pulled out his notebook from his bag. Not the one containing multiple drawings of Isak in it. No, that one was at home, hidden in his nightstand drawer. He only pulled it out before he went to sleep, doodled some more in it or finished detailing the not-finished drawings in there. A small wrinkle at Isak’s eye or mouth that he hadn’t mapped before. Or drawing his curls. He loved drawing Isak’s curls. It put him to sleep every night, and he never wanted to think about, what that might mean.

He wrote: _HAHA! why the hell are you looking at her boobs?? I thought the only thing that got you going was the topic of her lessons and not her? Do you have a crush on our biology teacher Isak? <3_

With a quick look towards their teacher, that confirmed that she was still in deep conversation with Sana, he turned to Isak and dumped the note in front of him, which he grabbed immediately. 

Not a minute later another note landed in front of Even, which he unfolded with a smile on his face.

_I do NOT have a crush on her! WTF. Anybody can see that she isn’t wearing a bra. I’m just pointing it out. Does she have to be that obvious about it??_

The notes went back and forth for the rest of the lesson. 

_It’s not that you notice it. But more that you have to point it out, Isak. Shouldn’t you focus on what she is saying rather than her boobs, so you can explain it all too me later <3_

_I don’t have to listen to her explain it. I read it yesterday and I understood it perfectly fine. Already did today’s homework._

_Ooooh. You are such a nerd. Wanna do my homework too? <3_

_I am not a nerd, I’m just really smart, unlike you._

_Ouch. You wound me! Luckily brains isn’t everything. The greatest thing you will ever learn… <3_

_Don’t make me finish that quote. It’s enough that you make me watch that movie every fucking weekend._

_You owe me. You practically just called me stupid. I don’t know how I will ever recover from that. I thought you were my friend! <3_

_URGHGH! OKAY! The greatest thing you'll ever learn. Is just to love and be loved in return. There are you happy?_

_VERY happy! Wanna hang after school? You owe me a free lesson in miotis, since you distracted me in this one. <3_

_It’s called meiosis you dork. But, fine. Let’s go to your place. My dad is being an asshole again and I don’t wanna look at his stupid face anyway. And what’s with the hearts? It’s weird. You’re weird._

_I’m weird for you, Nature Boy <3_

_Whatever, Even._

_Oh come on, Isak!_

_URRRRRGGGHH!_

_< 3_

_:-) <3_


	2. We would pass the extra time in the back of my beat-up car

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His expression peaceful and relaxed. Even thought he looked like an angel, but then reminded himself that angels probably didn’t sleep either. Maybe Isak would turn into an angel when he died? That thought was too horrible for Even to think about. He was overcome with a feeling of deep sadness and started to panic a little at the thought of Isak not being here with him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second chapter. Thank you for reading <3

_Isak 24 and a half, Even 25_

Even is still standing in the middle of the living room, when Isak comes through the front door. He is totally soaked and covered in snow. He is wearing tight jeans and bloody sneakers as always, of course. He puts the large paper bag, with take-out, on the floor and kicks off his shoes, not bothering to put them next to Even’s boots on the old news paper, despite them being even wetter. He shakes of his thin jacket and dusts his cap free from snow before entering the living room, leaving wet footprints, to Even’s great amusement and slight concern.

Isak smiles at him, as he puts the bag on the sofa table and moves to give Even a hug and a kiss on the cheek. The way they have greeted each other for years. When Isak pulls back, Even grabs his shoulders and looks at him with his best stern-dad-face.

“When will you learn, to wear fucking weather appropriate clothes! It’s fucking freezing outside! You are so fucking cold.”

Then he pulls him back in and starts rubbing his arms and back, trying to transfer some body heat to the icicle in front of him.

Isak just huffs out a laugh and pushes Even away.

“Would you relax! I’ve managed so far, so I’ll live. It’ll be spring in a few weeks and then I don’t need all that shitty winter clothes anyway.”

He starts unpacking containers with sushi and, the small fish shaped soy sauce containers. 

“Seriously, Isak, we have this conversation every winter. You know it will be winter next year as well right, and the year after that and do you need me to go on? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one?”

Even looks to Mikael for support, but he is still leaned comfortably on the couch seeming to enjoy the bickering going on in front of him. Which just annoys Even more.

“Mikael, can you back me up here? Why am I the one nagging him like WE are the fucking old married couple here?”

At that comment Mikael’s face falls. Even looks to Isak, not really understanding what he said wrong. Isak is looking at him, with an unreadable expression. Then he looks at Mikael and they have one of their silent conversations. Even hates those. Mikael and Isak have always been able to communicate without words, seeming to understand exactly what the other person is thinking, just from looking at the other. It pisses Even off. He tells himself it’s because he feels left out, when he is really searing with envy and jealousy. 

Mikael finally speaks. “He saw the boxes.” Isak’s eyes snap to Even’s and he looks a little nervous. “Oh. Well. I guess we have something to tell you. Just, let’s eat a bit first.”

_Isak just turned 17, Even 17 and a half_

The smoke lay heavy in the air. Even brought the joint to his lips and inhaled deeply. He leaned his head back against the backrest of the seat, in the back of his beat-up car. _His_ car. He was only 17, but his aunt June had bought it for him, so even though he couldn’t drive it yet, it was his. His aunt was his second best friend. Isak was still number one. Always, Isak. Isak who was also leaning his head against the headrest, his face turned towards Even, a lazy smile on his face. 

Even was mesmerized by the softness of Isak’s features. The way his long eyelashes swept the air in front of his deep green eyes. He couldn’t stop staring, and he didn’t want to either. Because Isak was looking right back at him, with a peaceful look in his eyes. Like there was nowhere else in this world, he would rather be. 

It made Even brave, and he moved his face closer to Isak’s. He was a little taller than Isak, which made Isak tilt his head upwards, to be able to maintain eye contact with Even. Isak seemed to understand what Even wanted to do, because he opened his mouth slowly and started inhaling the smoke that was escaping Even’s chapped lips seconds later.

They sat close like that for what felt like hours. Just smoking and drinking each other in. Until Isak spoke up. His voice raspy, from the smoke and being quiet for a long time. 

“You know we won’t be able to do this in here, when you’re actually able to drive this car, right?” 

Even turned his face to the sealing of the car, huffing out a laugh. The car was an old convertible and the fabric of the top was worn down, but still intact. He could already imagine next summer, when he would be able to put the top down and drive around town with Isak. Drive home from the beach and watch Isak’s curls dance in the wind. Pull the top back up when the sun had set and listen to music on the stereo, looking out over the city from Grefsenkollen.

“Luckily, that’s not the only thing we can do in this car...”

Even was high out of his mind. He was completely under Isak’s spell and at that moment, he didn’t give a damn, if Isak knew. He just wanted to be close to him. So he shuffled closer, until his face was right in front of Isak’s again. But this time, there was no smoke between them. Isak still tilted his head upwards, his lips sliding apart, asking for something.

Even was drunk on him. He ran the tip of his nose along Isak’s cheek, inhaling him. Surviving on the breaths Isak was finished with. He ran his nose along his cheekbones and slid his lips over his jaw, feeling a slight stubble there. 

Isak let out a sigh at the feeling and Even couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He moved his hand up to cup Isak’s cheek and gently turned his lips towards his own. Isak sat completely still beside him, in lazy surrender. As he let out another sigh, Even caught his bottom lip between his own and gently sucked on it. Isak’s lips fell open in complete renouncement and his tongue met Even’s with a sweet pleasure moan, which Even returned with everything he had.

Even had no idea for how long they sat there kissing, in the back, but at some point Isak drew back. His eyes were red from all the weed and a little glossy. He stared at Even with fondness and wonder.

“What am I, Even?”

“You’re my best friend”

“Friends don’t kiss, Evi”

“Well, maybe I want you in a different way too”

Just as Even was about to dive back in and show Isak just how much he wanted this, the electric garage door started to open. They both shuffled out of the back seat of the car, laughing like the two silly teenagers they were, running out the back door, before Even’s aunt could confront them with the heavy smell of weed in the garage. 

She was furious, but still let Even keep the car. He was her favorite and only nephew after all. 

_Isak 18, Even 18 and a half_

The time had just passed midnight, but Even wasn’t sleeping. In fact he was giddy and buzzing with energy.

Sometimes his body would feel like this. Like everything was possible and that sleep was a waste of time. Because now, Oslo was sleeping and nobody cared what he did. He didn’t have to go to school or do chores for his parents.

The nights were a gift of time, that he couldn’t understand nobody appreciated. They just went to sleep and wasted half their lives dreaming, when they could be living those dreams instead. No, Even didn’t need to sleep, he needed to live out his dreams. And because his dreams, most often, involved a certain blond boy, he was on his way to Isak’s house in the middle of the night.

Isak’s room was on the first floor or their white wooden house, but it was no problem to get there. Even pushed the garbage bin next to the garage and used it to climb onto the roof of the garage. Then he could move to the wall of the house and pull himself onto the ledge under Isak’s window. He congratulated himself on the climb, before tapping the window. 

Isak was probably sleeping, because the room was dark and he didn’t react when Even tapped the window again. 

Even was overcome with a feeling of urgency. Because, dammit, they didn’t have all night. Time was precious, and running out. Isak needed to wake up and let him in. He was about to start banging on the window, when he noticed that one of the partitions of the window was left ajar. Even could just barely get his finger into the crack, but he managed to loosen the latch that kept the window in place and pulled it open.

His feet landed softly on the floor, elegant like a cat, he thought to himself. The light from the street entered the room and revealed Isak lying in bed, sleeping. His face was turned towards Even. His expression peaceful and relaxed. Even thought he looked like an angel, but then reminded himself that angels probably didn’t sleep either. Maybe Isak would turn into an angel when he died? That thought was too horrible for Even to think about. He was overcome with a feeling of deep sadness and started to panic a little at the thought of Isak not being here with him. 

That’s when Isak made a sound, a small groan and rolled onto his stomach in his sleep. As he did so, he kicked his blanked off most of his body and Even froze. Isak was naked. And God, he was beautiful. His back was smooth and muscular, and his ass looked soft and firm at the same time. 

It was a long time ago, since Even had seen Isak naked. When they were younger, they didn’t really care about that stuff, always changing in the same room, borrowing underwear from the other if they went to the beach or just needed a shower after football practice. But a few years ago Isak started getting weird about it, so they stopped. 

Even needed to touch him, there was no stopping himself. This was one of those moments in life where it’s all or nothing. If Isak was going to leave him, to become an angel someday, he had to feel him while he could. Because, Even knew he wasn’t going to heaven. Not a chance. He would just pollute everything that was pure and good, like Isak.

What the hell was he doing…

He sank to the ground besides Isak’s bed.

Even didn’t know how long he sat on the ground, just looking at Isak sleeping and whispering nonsense to him. But at some point Isak started stirring again and he rolled onto his side, facing Even and opened his eyes. 

In the dim light of the room, Even could see Isak looking at him lazily, like nothing was out of the ordinary. That it was perfectly normal for Even to sit on the floor, next to his bed and stare at him while he slept. Isak smiled softly at him. Even couldn’t hold back anymore, his thoughts were spinning out of control and he needed to touch Isak, to ground himself.

So he did. He put his hand on Isak’s cheeks and gently ran his fingers across his face and carted them through his hair. 

That seemed to wake Isak up properly, because he sat up with a jerk, pulling his blanket around himself, covering his chest. His eyes were wide and a deep, confused frown formed on his face.

“What the fuck are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night”

His voice was raspy from sleep, but he didn’t sound angry, just confused. 

Right! The middle of the night. Even felt so stupid, he had totally forgotten about the epic night he had planned. The giddiness and excitement was back with full force and he threw Isak a million dollar smile.

“Are you ready for an adventure?”, he wriggled his eyebrows suggestingly.

Isak let out an exasperated sigh and fell back onto his pillow. His eyes were closed for a few moments and Even was a little offended that Isak would just go back to sleep like that, when he had planned a perfect night for them. He was just about to shake Isak a little, when he answered him.

“I don’t want to go on an adventure. I want to go back to sleep, you freak. Go home.”

Even knew he could talk him into coming, it was the perfect adventure for Isak. He had planned it for him, for days now. Remembering to pack a blanket, hot coco and filling up the tank of the car. It would have been a nice surprise, but Even figured he would have to tell Isak what was going on or he wouldn’t bite. He did seem oddly tired. Why did he need to sleep so much? Even didn’t.

“Come on Isak, there is a chance for northern lights tonight. You always wanted to see them!”

That seemed to do the trick, because Isak was now sitting back up, rubbing his eyes.

“We can’t see them in the city, Even...”

It sounded like a weak argument, and Even knew he had won. His smile went even more brilliant.

“Exactly. Let’s go for a drive.”

Isak rolled his eyes, but still swung his legs over the side of the bed, still covered completely in the blanked.

“I know you got your license like yesterday, but can you fucking chill. It’s the middle of the night”

“You’re no fun.” Even was pouting.

Isak let out a surrendering sigh.

“How big are the chances again, of actually seeing it?”

Even mentally high-fived himself. Isak never stood a chance against his pouting.

“I have no idea. You’re the science nerd”, he teased.

Isak eyed him intensely, and Even wanted to kiss him so bad. He was just about to, when Isak stood up, “Urhg, FINE!” 

Even watched Isak pulling clothes from his drawers and his closet. When he turned around he seemed to find it odd that Even kept staring at him. So, he stared back for a while, and Even had no idea what Isak was trying to tell him with that stare, until Isak said, “do you mind turning around for a bit, I’m kind of naked here?”

Even couldn’t help the smirk that formed on his face, “Oh, I’m very much aware.”

Isak just rolled his eyes, “Oh my God, why do you have to be so weird, just turn around you freak!”

Even reluctantly did as he was told, he would do anything, if Isak asked. 

They snuck out of the house and drove out to Nordmarka. They lay on a blanket for hours looking at the sky. There were no northern light visible that night, but as Even saw a shooting star he whispered, “I wish you were mine”. 

Isak was fast asleep on the blanket, curled up around Evens side. Even pulled his head onto his chest and kissed his hair, and repeated his wish many times, until the sun came up.


	3. But it was two month until you started dating my best friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you in love with him?”, Mikael half-yelled to Even over the thumping bass in a club. 
> 
> Even took a sip from his Coke. 
> 
> “Who?”
> 
> His eyed betrayed him and looked directly at Isak on the dance floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Number three. Enjoy 💜 thank you for reading, commenting and kudos(ING?). Everything you do is a chrismas present I didnt expect but love to pieces.

Isak 24 and a half, Even 25

The empty sushi containers are spread out on the sofa table and Nas is playing quietly on the stereo. Even and Mikael are spread out on the couch, hands on their stomachs. Isak is resting his head on the neck rest of their old lounge chair. 

They had recovered from the awkward tension and ate while talking about work, uni and Even’s birthday party a few weeks ago. But now it was creeping back around. None of the boys says anything. Just waiting for someone else to break the silence. 

“So…”, Isak says, just as Mikael says, “I’m…”

They both close their mouths again, keeping quiet, smiling silently at each other. Isak reaches for Mikael’s hand, and they lazily link the tips of their fingers, because that is the only part they can reach without moving further. Even looks away. It’s these small moments of intimacy, he finds it the hardest, being around. He tells himself that he just needs to find someone, anyone, to date soon, because he just needs someone himself, to not be this petty and jealous about Mikael touching Isak like this. When Mikael starts talking again, Even really has to pull himself together, to not show his petty feelings towards his best friends.

“So, I’m moving to London.”

Of all the things Mikael could have said, Even would never have guessed that those were the words, he would say.

Even stares at Mikael in total chok. 

“You’re what? When did you decide this? When are you? What?” 

He is totally taken aback. Not knowing where this is coming from all of a sudden.

Mikael just smiles fondly at Even and chuckles a bit at his flabbergasted expression. 

“I know this might seem a little crazy and out of character for me, but my boss offered me a job at our London department, and I said yes. I never travelled after videregående, or ever really, so I just figured that this was my chance to try that. And London is great. At least you thought so, when you went a few years ago, right?”.

He seems a little nervous now. Like he needs a little confirmation, from his best friend. It makes Isak sit up in his chair and look directly at Even. 

“Of course it’s gonna be great! Right Even? You enjoyed the hell out of the time you spent there, right! You almost forgot we existed…” 

What starts out like a strong speech, turns almost a little bitter at the end, but Isak seems to reel himself in and smile almost too brightly at both Mikael and Even.

_______________________________________________________

Isak 18, Even almost 19

Even kept it up for several weeks, before it all went to shit. He felt invincible, king of the world! His parents were concerned and a little scared for him, but didn’t take drastic measures, because they assumed it was some kind of teenage-fueled rebellion, that made him act the way he did. They had no idea that bipolar disorder existed and what to look for, even if they did. 

So, Even ran out of the house most nights, roaming the city in his car, bringing Isak, when he managed to get him out of bed. Most nights it was just him alone, though. Well, not alone. He always found someone to spend time with, to drink with, to fuck with. But they didn’t matter. He never remembered their names or faces. 

Only one face mattered to him. And that face was everywhere in his room, in his car, on street corners. Even drew, painted and scratched Isak’s profile into everything he could get his hands on. He was obsessed with showing the world how beautiful his angel was. 

Because, even though Isak slept at night, he had to be an angel. Even could feel it in his bones. That’s also why he stayed away most nights. To let Isak rest. He always seemed so tired and sometimes got very annoyed, when Even came over. 

He decided that it was because angels and humans couldn’t spend too much time together at night. The angels needed time to recharge their heavenly powers. That was also why Isak slept naked, Even concluded. To be able to soak up all the spiritual energy through his skin. 

Many nights Even couldn’t stay away, even when he tried to distract himself with a new friend for the night. He always drove past Isak’s house. Some days, when his window was open, Even climbed the garbage bin and watched Isak sleep. 

One night it went very wrong. Even slipped on the roof of the garage, due to a thin layer of frost. He tumbled down the roof and hit the bins, causing a large ruckus. His arm and head hurt like hell, but he couldn’t stop laughing. Even as tears streamed down his face, he kept on laughing. That’s how Isak’s parents found him. Lying in their driveway, cold and wet, with a broken arm and a dizzying concussion, laughing hysterically.

Isak had also been woken up from the commotion. He had thrown himself on the ground next to Even and had refused to leave his side, before the ambulance came and took him away. If Even couldn’t move, neither would he, no matter how much his mom tried to pull him from the ground. 

Even’s behavior was recognized as mania and he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

His entire life seemed to crumble around him. He had no idea who he was anymore. He was scared and began isolating himself. He even changed school, because he couldn’t bare the thought of going there if Isak wasn’t. Isak was the only person he allowed back into his life, aside from his parents and his aunt. 

It wasn’t because he made an effort. Those were just the only people that refused to let him wither away and shut them out. 

When Even was discharged from hospital, Isak almost moved in to his room with him. He slept next to Even most nights. His parents didn’t mind. They seemed a little relieved to be honest, that someone was watching him closely when they weren’t able to. So Even slept. Sometime he woke up in the middle of night in Isak’s arms and he never felt more at home, than those nights. In the morning though, they would be at their separate ends of the maddress. They never talked about it.

As Even got better and talked more, when they lay in bed, Isak started getting a little awkward and gradually stopped coming over at night. They didn’t talk about that either. Their friendship continued like it always had been, although there seemed to be a newfound distance between them. Like they both built walls to protect themselves from some unknown force.

When Even began at his new school he met Mikael on his first day. He was uncomplicated and got Even and his weird ideas, like no one had ever done before. It was an easy friendship that gave him a sense of normality. He was not the crazy person in the room, when he was with Mikael. Because, in contrast with his parents and Isak, Mikael didn’t constantly look for signs of mania in every wonky idea he had. It was liberating. 

It didn’t take long, for Isak to start nagging him about Mikael. He rolled his eyes every time Even would mention him and kept asking when he got to meet his new best friend. 

“Mikael, this is Isak. My old best friend”, Even presented Isak, with an exaggerated presentation gesture.

Mikael rolled his eyes at the same time as Isak did, which made them smile at each other. He looked to Even and slapped the back of his head, with a: “Urgh, you dork, be nice.” before he reached out his hand to Isak, politely:

“Hi, nice to meet you, I’m apparently Even’s new best friend.”

“Congrats, he is the best best friend ever, anyway. Good luck with him.”, Isak said sarcastically. Still holding Mikael’s hand. 

As Mikael finally let go, he kept up the eye contact with Isak. 

That was the first time Even witnessed one of their silent exchanges, that he learned to hate with a glowing passion. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Are you in love with him?”, Mikael half-yelled to Even over the thumping bass in a club. 

Even took a sip from his Coke. 

“Who?”

His eyed betrayed him and looked directly at Isak on the dance floor. 

He was rolling his hips, arms in the air, swaying sensually and a little out of rhythm to the music. His eyes were closed and he looked peaceful. His damp curls moving, as he swung his head back and mouthed the lyrics to the song that was playing. 

He could feel Mikael’s eyes burning a hole in the side of his face, so he tore his eyes away from Isak and tried to mask his adoration with nonchalance.

Mikael threw him an unimpressed look. 

Even sighed and looked away. He couldn’t dismiss the question, when it was asked this directly, this time. Over the last few weeks, since Mikael had met Isak for the first time, he had asked Even more vague questions about how they knew each other, and what Isak meant to Even multiple times. But never this direct. Even knew it was no use, to try and get around answering this time.

“I thought I was, when I was younger. But my feelings tend to get mixed together. He’s always been my best friend.”

“So you weren’t in love with him?”

“Don’t think I ever was…really.” 

Lies

Even was looking at Isak dancing again. He seemed so carefree out there, just letting go of all the energy balled up inside of him. It was almost like he was shining. 

Mikael looked at Isak too and said: “Isak asked me if I wanted to hang out sometime…”

Without taking his eyes away from Isak, Even answered: “I guess I don’t need to give the whole - if you hurt him I will torture you, long and painfully before I murder you - speech…”

Mikael looked at him. 

“You just kind of did, anyway...”

Even took another sip of his coke. Still looking at Isak. 

“I guess I just did.”


	4. Even though I know you're married I think about you every day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I told Isak, that I thought you would have minded quite a bit actually. Me butting in on your time together. That you always looked the happiest, when you were alone with him.”
> 
> June stopped them, a few meters before they reached the rest of the party, that had now assembled around the grooms, under the trees. She stepped in front of him, and gave him a searching, sympathetic look. 
> 
> “I know it feels like it will never pass, but it will. With time. It will pass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my favorite chapter to write. Maybe I'm a bit of a masochist? No, I know I'm not. I'm all for happy endings, always <3 In every universe. Thanks for reading. Almost at the end now.

_Isak 24 and a half, Even 25_

Even can’t believe what he is hearing. 

“When were you planning on telling me that you are moving to another country?!”

Mikael actually looks a little guilty. Like there is an actual reason, he hasn’t told Even yet. That it’s not just a matter of them not seeing each other since he got the news, but that he withheld the information purposely, knowing exactly how shocked Even would be.

“This is a big thing for me too…” Mikael says apologetically.

Even just stares at him in disbelief. And then he is hit with a dread, deep in his stomach. It feels like he is failing.

His head snaps to Isak, who meets his eyes with a kind of stubborn, defiant look. As if he is ready to defend Mikael from any bullshit Even could throw his way.

“Has Isak gotten a job there too?”, Even asks looking back at Mikael. 

He opens his mouth to answer, but seems to change his mind, because he closes it again, casting a sideways glance to Isak. 

“No. I’m staying at UiO”, is the soft answer he finally gets. 

It’s not Mikael who answers his question. It’s Isak.

“You’re staying here?”

“Yes”

Even has no idea what they are doing. He would never be able to spend time away from his spouse like that. He can’t imagine living apart from someone he loves, and shares a life with. That train of thought is probably what prompts his next question. 

“Are you coming home on the weekends, or what are you going to do?”

Mikael seems to have gotten his courage back, because he leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees, as he tries to explain.

“Even, I’m sorry we are dropping all of this on you right now, but when I got offered the job we started talking. _Really_ talking, and we realized that us moving to London was not the right thing for us. So Isak is staying here.”

“Not the right thing for you? You’re married for fucks sake, you can’t just live in two different countries... indefinitely.”

Isak seems to lose his patience a little with Even, because his next sentence comes out a little snappy.

“Mikael and I have talked a lot over the past few months, and didn’t really want to involve all of our friends in a big life decision like this. I can see now, from your reaction, that that was probably a good call. We have talked a lot, and have reached a decision that's not easy or lovely, but it’s right for _us_.” 

Isak gets his irritation under control and takes a deep breath before he continues softly.

“You know we got married when we were 21 years old?”

“I _was_ there, you know…” Even says, not hiding his disapproval of the whole situation very well.

That seems to be the last straw for Isak, because he sounds properly pissed now.

“Come on, Even! Give me a fucking break and just listen! We got married when we were 21. We were each other’s first boyfriends and we really wanted to tell our parents to go fuck themselves and their homophobic crap. We never really considered what it entailed to get married, to live together - for the rest of our lives. To think about the rest of our lives and what we wanted from that. We’ve grown so much together, but also individually. And as the years have past, we’ve started to realize that what we built this marriage on, was teenage love and spite for our families. We don’t want the same things in life anymore. And the puppy love. It was definitely there at some point, but when the excitement wore off, we kind of just... Well, we found out that we had a deep connection, but that we needed each other for the wrong reasons back then.”

“Isak, what the fuck are you trying to tell me right now?”

_\------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Isak just turned 21, Mikael 21_

Even was standing in the middle of Frognerparken. It was a sunny day in the beginning of July. He was wearing a white dress shirt, because that was kind of what you wore for this type of event. He was thoroughly regretting that decision now. The sun had been at its highest a few hours ago and the air was warm and moist. He was pretty sure that he had no luck hiding the sweat stains under his arms and down his back. 

He also regretted the decision to come here in the first place. He didn’t just feel out of place because of his sweat stained shirt, but also because his two best friends were about to marry each other, barefoot in the middle of a public park. 

Isak and Mikael had been dating for a little over two years and Even had told himself that it was fine. Sure, he felt jealous sometimes when they stood close whispering, or had those damn wordless conversations. But that was just because he didn’t like to feel left out. At least that’s what he told himself. If he dared explore that emotion a bit more, he would probably discover that his blood was near boiling temperature, every time Isak touched Mikael for different reasons, but he never went there. Never. 

He was in control and smiling at the other guests, mostly friends from videregående and university. Even’s parents were there, June as well. They were the only parents present. Neither Isak’s nor Mikael’s had bothered to show up. Not that they were invited anyway. Both set of parents had made it painfully clear that they would never approve of their sons’ lifestyles. So Even’s parents had insisted on being there. 

“Because someone has to send those lovely boys into the arms of each other, on a special day like that! It's a once in a lifetime thing, marrying your soulmate.” his mom had insisted.

Apparently, Mikael had talked quite a bit to Even’s mom during the past years. About love, relationships and soulmates. They were both hopeless romantics and due to Mikael’s unstable, to say the least, relationship with his parents, he spend a lot of time in the guest room at Even’s parents’ house, giving them plenty of time to talk of soulmates and other fairy tales.

His mom was currently fixing Mikael’s bow tie, making sure it wasn’t skewed for the ceremony that was about to start.

Isak was talking to June a few meters away from the rest of the party. His golden curls were flowing in the breeze. He was looking a bit shy, looking down at his feet, while he said something to June. Even was too far away to hear what they were saying, but he could still see the blush rising on his cheeks, when June leaned in to kiss his cheek and whisper something into his ear. When she moved away, Isak’s eyes found Even’s. He seemed a little surprised to find him staring back at him, but gave him a small smile and a little shy wave. 

Even was a little slow to return both the smile and the wave. Before he managed to get control of his thoughts and muscles and get them to return Isak’s greeting, Even’s dad tapped Isak on the shoulder and drew his attention away.

Instead, his awkward and apparently strained smile and wave was received by June, who made her way towards him. She linked her arm into his, and then slowly started leading him towards the crowd.

“We’re about to start soon.”

She gave him a concerned smile. Even hated the fact that he could never conceal his emotions from her.

When he didn’t engage in conversation with her, she talked instead.

“Isak just apologized to me, for all the weed you two smoked in my garage, over the years. Said that I really didn’t want to know all the stuff you did out there.”

Even could feel a blush rising to his cheeks. It was stupid. They never did anything, besides smoke weed, talk and eat the occasional weird thing due to high-cravings. Well, never except for that one night Even almost revealed it all. The things he never let himself acknowledge and think about.

Of course, June sensed his inner turmoil. She always had a sixth sense, when it came to Even. Understood him better than his own mom did. Mikael once said they were soulmates. Again with that crap. 

“I told him not to worry about it. That you were both forgiven, before you did anything, really. I had to pretend to be somewhat of parental figure and scold you, or your mother would’ve never let you hang out at my place again. Sometimes, I really just wanted to get in the front seat of that car with you guys and take a hit, after some of the days I had.”

Even couldn’t help but smile, and huff out a small laugh at that. She never let him down, when it came to lightening his mood.

“Isak told me, that that would probably have made me into an even cooler aunt, than I already was, in your eyes.”

“Would have spared us a lot of running away from you. Jumping the hedges in the backyard.”

Even winked at her. 

“I told Isak, that I thought you would have minded quite a bit actually. Me butting in on your time together. That you always looked the happiest, when you were alone with him.”

June stopped them, a few meters before they reached the rest of the party, that had now assembled around the grooms, under the trees. She stepped in front of him, and gave him a searching, sympathetic look. 

“I know it feels like it will never pass, but it will. With time. It will pass.”

_Damn_ her.

Even could feel his sorry excuse for a facade crumbling. He tried to the best of his ability, to keep a straight face, but needed to lean his head back and squeeze his eyes shut for a second to stop the tears from welling up.

“Fuck, June. Not today. Just… _Fuck_ ”

Although the top of her head barely reached his shoulders, she drew him down into her arms. She hugged him tight and whispered into his hair.

“You’re so strong, Evi. It will pass, I promise. But don’t do this to yourself, if it hurts too much.”

Mikael and Isak got married under the trees, on a beautiful sunny day in July, surrounded by all of their friends and Even’s family.

As soon as the grooms had said their vows, the champagne, or whatever cheap crap they had been able to get their hands on, was popped. 

Even was shitfaced, to say the least, after a few hours. He ended up on the grass by himself, outside of the group of blankets that the guests had brought.

At some point, Isak came over to him. His cheeks were flushed and he looked so happy, and a little drunk, that Even almost felt bad for being such a party pooper. 

Isak sat next to him on the grass and bumped his shoulder into him playfully.

“Good thing your parents left early. Wouldn’t want them to see you all drunk and anti-social.”

Even scoffed. It came out harsher than he intended. He wanted to defend himself, but his brain was too fucking clouded to make sense of anything.

He turned his head and found himself face to face with Isak. They were sitting close. It was nothing new. They had always had a close private sphere around them.

His eyes roamed Isak’s face. His green eyes where a little glossy, but he looked so blissfully happy. Even should be happy for him. Should warm himself in the love radiating from Isak. But he couldn’t. He was so damn unhappy and sad.

Because Isak wasn’t smiling for him. He was smiling for someone else. And Even would never get to make him smile like that. Would never get to feel that smile against his own lips again. 

His thoughts were spiraling. He had completely lost control and everything he had worked so hard to ignore for years, just came crashing through his poorly build dams.

“You know, I think about you every day…”

Was the only thing he was able to get across his lips. 

“I think about you too.”, Isak said smiling.

“No you don’t.”

“I do. You’re doing so great. I like seeing you happy.”

Even snorted. This time not even trying to conceal his rotten mood.

“You think I’m happy?”

Isak frowned at that. Finally seeming to register Even’s foul mood.

“Even, what is wrong, talk to me.”

“Go talk to your fucking husband.”

Isak was taken back at Even’s hostile tone. His gaze hardened a bit. Prepared to take a stand as always. Stubborn little shit.

“No. I want to talk to you right now. Just tell me what’s on your mind.”

Even’s thoughts were still spinning faster and faster.

“So what? So that you can lock me up then? Send me to a mental institution? No thanks.”

Isak looked shocked. He got up on his knees in front of Even, forced his chin in his direction to look at him. His eyes were piercing his soul and it hurt. It hurt so damn much.

“Even, what the fuck? No! Why are you saying this? No one's going to lock you up. You’re doing great.”

Even jerked away from Isak and scrambled to his feet. 

“I’m not doing anything. I’m just watching the fucking world move past me.”

He suddenly felt very resigned and totally deflated. He just stood there, his arms hanging lose by his sides.

Isak got up from the ground and reached for him again. This time Even let him. He felt tears spring to his eyes the second Isak touched his face again. He cupped Even’s face in his hands, caressing his cheeks. He leaned forward into the touch he never let himself crave. He leaned his forehead against Isak’s. 

“I thought I had my whole life to figure this out. I _hate_ that it had to end.”

Isak pulled back and looked scared. 

“What are you talking about? Nothing is ending. Even, you’re not making any sense.”

“You’re the only thing that makes sense. I think about you every day.”

“Even…”

Even gathered every ounce of control he had left in his soul and stepped away from Isak, leaving him standing frozen in the same position. Arms still raised to where Even stood a few seconds ago. 

“Never mind. This was stupid. You’re married now. I’m so sorry.”

Even turned around and started to walk away. Isak tried to yell after him, but he just kept on walking, to the sound of his heart breaking.

He threw up in some bushes on the way home. He never made it that far though. He ended up at June’s door, late in the evening, and finally broke down.

The depression that followed that night lasted six months. 

When he was able to breathe again, he fled to London.

_\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Isak 24 and a half, Even 25_

“We are getting a divorce”

The room goes completely silent after that. Even’s mind is blank for a moment. He never saw _that_ coming. Isak and Mikael’s relationship is one of the constants in his life. His parents’ apartment - where he can always go to recharge, when the struggles of everyday life gets overwhelming, June’s house - where he can be completely honest with himself and Isak and Mikael’s marriage - wherein his two best friends have created a space for fun, relaxation and enjoying what life has to offer. 

Even knows he is being selfish by making this about him, but he can’t have them breaking up. It’s going to throw his world of it’s axis and he is not prepared to handle the emotions that comes with that. 

So, he goes for the unintelligent, but authentic reaction. Utter disbelief. 

“WHAT?!”

Both Isak and Mikael are very calm. All the tension in air from the previous hours of the night is gone. They’re even smiling a bit towards each other. It’s almost as if getting the words out was a relief to them, no matter how Even reacted to them. 

When Even doesn’t say another word. Isak opens his mouth to speak, still looking at Mikael fondly. 

“We love each other. But in the end, we’re not IN love with each other anymore. Love can pass. It happens.” 

He looks at Even, then. Searching his eyes, before he continues. 

“For some people at least.”


	5. It was love. I know you know that.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I think my time in London was so important to me, and who I am as a person now, that if it somehow changed I wouldn’t know how to handle that.”
> 
> “Has it changed then?”
> 
> “Not really, it seems.”
> 
> “Have you?”
> 
> Even goes quiet for a moment. He smiles to himself. 
> 
> “I’m not sure. Somethings are the same. Some are different.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a complicated relationship with endings. I hate when good things end, but I also can't wait to read the end of some of my favorite stories. Luckily, there is a universe right here, where writers won't accept the fact that SKAM ended. We get to tell stories about our favorite characters and keep it all alive. I'm proud to be among you all. 
> 
> Here is the last chapter in this little story of lost love, and second chances in life. 
> 
> Never giving up on love does not mean staying with people you once loved, but don't anymore, and try to reignite a spark that's gone. Nor does it mean not cutting ties to people you love, but are bad for you.  
> Not giving up on love, means never giving up on the fact that you deserve love. No matter who you are! You deserve love that builds you up and makes your life a richer experience. Love can be lost, and love can be found. 
> 
> Keep your heart open and take care of yourself <3

_6 months later in London_

_Even 25 and a half, Mikael 25 and a half._

It is late August and the weather is hot, by British standards.

Mikael and Even are sitting outside a small cafe near St. James’ Park. Enjoying the sun and a well-poured beer. Even can’t believe he is back here. The city holds so much memory and emotion for him. That’s probably also why it’s taken him this many months to come visit Mikael here. 

When he lived here himself, he was just learning how to function as a person again. His depression had seemed endless, but as soon as he started getting back on his feet he spent all his savings on a one-way plane ticket to London and on tuition to an advanced filmmakers’ course. 

He knew very well that he was fleeing. But it had seemed like it was the only way to move forward at the time. He needed to get away. Learn how to be a person without being Isak’s person. 

June had lend him some money for a deposit and a couple of months rent for a small one-bedroom apartment outside of the city. The daily commute was a bitch, but it gave him time to read books and scripts he never had the time for back home.

He threw himself into the course work, got a job at a pub near his small apartment and slowly learned how to breathe again. Learned how to just to _be_ again. 

No one knew him here, and as exhausting as it was to meet new people all the time, it was also kind of liberating. 

One night, he could be an artist talking for hours about niche, french, black and white films with hipsters at art galleries. Other nights, he could just be a mess, getting drunk off his ass on whatever beer was cheapest and sing along to whatever football team song the fans of the winning team in the pub was singing that night. 

For some reason people seemed to like him, wherever he went. People didn’t question his choices in life or asked him about his plans for the future. Instead they asked him for his opinion on art, european football, scandinavian cooking and snowy mountains. 

A lot of people batted their eyelashes at him and asked him to pronounce various words both in English and Norwegian. They seemed to find it sexy, when his deep voice shaped words. He sometimes indulged them. Until one night, when he told a pretty girl she had a beautiful name, and she put her hand on his thigh and asked him what the most beautiful norwegian name was. 

Without hesitation he said, Isak. 

After that, he stopped engaging with people about his accent and home country. 

He thought he had come further. Apparently not.

He stopped playing a different role every night, stopped pretending to be something he was not. He went to school, went to work, made some real friends. He stopped running from himself. 

He finished his course after eight months and went home. 

He was broke, utterly poor. But he was genuinely happy and content for the first time in his life. Because he had figured out how to live a life without his parents, June and even Isak. He felt so empowered.

Even hasn’t been back since then. London seemed sacred somehow. So defining for who he is as a person today. He was afraid that if he went back and didn’t feel those same emotions he London left with, they would somehow leave him too and he would lose those newfound parts of himself. 

So being here now. On a pavement in London, four years later is something special. 

Both Even and Mikael are wearing sunglasses and shorts. They are sipping their beers frequently to avoid them getting warm, before they can finish them. 

“How does it feel being back here?”, Mikael asks after a shared silence. 

He doesn’t look at Even. He just lazily keeps watching people walk by on the street. 

Even thinks about it for a moment.

“Better than I thought I would.”

Mikael looks at him for a moment.

“How so?”

“I think my time in London was so important to me, and who I am as a person now, that if it somehow changed I wouldn’t know how to handle that.”

“Has it changed then?”

“Not really, it seems.”

“Have you?”

Even goes quiet for a moment. He smiles to himself. 

“I’m not sure. Some things are the same. Some are different.”

Mikael hums and nods thoughtful and acknowledging in return.

The silence returns. 

A waiter comes by and takes their now empty pints and asks them if they want a refill. They agree. 

When Mikael has taken a rather large portion from his fresh beer he asks, “Remember when I asked you, all those years ago, if you were in love with Isak?”

Even looks at Mikael with wide eyes. Why does he feel like he is being confronted with something he shouldn’t be doing? 

Sure, Isak had been all over Even’s instagram, and well, all over Even’s life for the last six months. It had almost been like when they were teenagers again, hanging out almost every day. Getting food, watching movies, taking walks, going dancing just to realize that they were both shit at it and just get drunk and laugh at other people dancing instead... 

“I remember.” Even says breathlessly.

Mikael removes his sunglasses and rubs his eyes. He turns in his chair so that he is facing Even straight on, putting his arms on the table between them, folding his hands. 

He looks at Even for a short while, and a cheeky grin colors his face. He looks at his own hands for a bit, still smiling and his mouth opens and closes a few times, before he looks straight at Even. Eyes boring into his soul.

“Would you like to change your answer?”

_________________________________________________________________________

_Isak 25, Even 25 and a half_

Even backs Isak up against his front door. Their bodies are close enough for a hug, but only just. 

Isak runs his fingers through Even’s hair and makes him sigh in relief and happiness.

They have spend the whole day together. Not that that is anything out of the ordinary these days. 

What _is_ out of the ordinary is that Even has stopped pretending. For the first time in his life he knows what he wants and isn’t afraid of it. 

He wants Isak.

They went Sørenga and bathed in the sea. Sat on the wooden deck for hours and talked about their everyday lives. 

Isak is starting his first clinical rotation at Ullevål hospital on monday and is scared out of his mind. 

“What if I kill someone, Evi? I only read about most things in my books, I have no fucking clue what to do, if someone just starts bleeding or choking in front of me, well I do know to do in theory, but just… _Fuck_!”

Even took Isak’s face in his hands and kissed his forehead, making Isak go pliant under his touch at once.

He turned his chin up to look him in the eyes. 

“You are going to be the best doctor that hospital has ever seen. I know how hard you’ve worked for the past six years. You’ll know what to do, when the time comes. And if not, that’s okay too. Someone else will help you. You are not alone. Ever. Okay?”

Isak seemed lost in his eyes for a moment. He swallowed deeply and smiled a soft smile. 

“Okay.”

He leaned his forehead against Evens, breathing slowly.

“Neither are you by the way. You are never alone.”

On the way home Even took Isak’s hand and intertwined their fingers. Isak let him and just kept talking about whatever was on his mind as they made their way through the city towards Isak’s new apartment. 

Now, the world is standing still. Even’s hands caresses Isak’s back, arms, neck as they make their way towards his face. 

Isak is leaning fully on the door behind him, breathing slowly with a small smile on his face. Even smiles himself when he feels it with his thumbs. 

“Remember when we smoked weed, in the back of my car, in June’s garage?”

Isak looks up at him through his lashes. 

“Which time?”

Even takes a deep breath and pushes closer. Their chests are only inches apart now. 

“The time I did this…” 

He runs his nose against Isak’s cheeks, like he did all those years ago. Breathing him in. Feeling the soft stubble on his jaw. Hearing how Isak’s breath hitches in his throat. 

“And you asked me, who you were to me?”, Even continues. 

He starts feeling Isak’s jaw with his lips. Gently running them over his sharp lines, as Isak tilts his head back against the door, exposing his neck. 

“You said I was your best friend…” Isak breathes out heavily.

Even sighs heavily, giving up his last piece of self restraint, he doesn’t need it anymore. He’s not scared anymore.

“God, I was such a fucking idiot… It wasn’t friendship...”, Even starts to slowly kiss his exposed neck, which makes Isak sigh, almost moan out his next breath, pulling Even closer.

“What was it then? Who am I, Evi?”, Isak draws back. Looking at Even though heavy eyelids.

Even makes a desperate sound in his throat and cups Isak’s face softly again.

“It was love. I know you know that.”

He searches Isak’s eyes for any kind of regret and sign for him to stop. He finds none. Only endless green forests.

“And you’re my whole fucking world. You always have been. Please let me love you. I love you so much.”

Isak closes the gap between them and kisses Even softly. So soft. His are lips open and Even longingly takes Isak’s cupids bow between his lips and tastes the man of his dreams.

And then it happens. Isak smiles into the kiss. And that’s it for Even. His first smiley kiss. From Isak. The first of many to come if he gets his way.

“Please let me love you.” he mumbles not separating their lips.

Isak’s smile gets even wider.

“I can do that. And I will love you right back.”, he whispers.

**Author's Note:**

> So excited to hear your thoughts. Hope you liked it. <3


End file.
